Journal Entry, Colonel Gentleman
31st of March in the year of Our Lord, Eighteen Hundred Seventy
Stange things are brewing here in London. No sooner had I returned from my recent excursion to Darkest Africa than an invitation arrives at my door. Seems that the Royal Museam is running a special exhibition of saurian fossils from Egypt. Needless to say, I responded to the invite with all due haste as I have a special interest in such relics.
Arriving at the museam, I was surprised to see such a large number of people in attendance; I would say it was nearly a hundred. These days apparently anyone rates an invitation to such an event. In spite of this, I valiantly carried on and began to work my way through the gathered crowd, engaging in brief discourse or short debate. Much to my disappointment there were very few new faces, only those gentlefolk whom I have met many times before; how they all bore me with their atrocious gossip and incessant discussion of fashion or other trivial persuits. But what is one to do?
Suffice it to say that the event was not entirely without merit. For it was there I spied the most fantastic sight; a beautiful woman of one of the yellow mongoloid races. I don't care what Sir Gerald De Bardio says about the yellow folk, this one was absolutely stunning. I quickly made my way over to here and applied my debonaire wit and graceful charm. However it appeared that she was unfamiliar with the Queen's English as she spoke only in her native tongue and did not respond to my attempts to woo her. Just then the presentation of the relics began and I turned my focus there. Several specimens were brought out on large platforms configured in the best guess of the scientists. Some of the configurations were obviously, and quite laughably, wrong and I did smile a little despite myself. I turned again to find the woman with whom I had been trying to talk moments prior. But before I could continue my advances a rather peculiar thing happened.
From the north end of the exhibition hall came a jarring racket. Much to the suprise of all a large mechanized monster had broken through the north wall and was advancing inward. Needless to say the assembled crowd was sent into a panic immediatly. This was rather short lived as the monster began to spew forth a noxious vapor that incapacitated them. I myself managed to outrun the vapor for some time until I was stopped by a pair of ruffian ne'er-do-wells wearing some sort of charcoal gas-filter masks who barred my egress. I attempted to negotiate with them but they responded with an unwelcome display of petty violence. Much to my surprise I found myself next to the woman I had earlier been pursuing. I would not have believed it had it be told to me by another, but this refined woman was indeed the most skilled hand to hand fighter I believe I have ever seen. She made short work of one of the ruffians and wrested the breathing apparatus from him for her own use. After neatly disabling the other fellow I followed her example. Just in time too as we were quickly surrounded by the purple mists. Finding the southern door barred from the other side I turned back north to see a contingient of armed characters advancing towards us. They demanded that I drop my pistol and surrender at once. I considered the various possibilites at my disposal and came to the conclusion that at this stage cooperation seemed like the course least likely to result in my untimely death. I placed my pistol on the floor, and along with my yellow lady friend we were rendered unconcious by thugs bearing chloroform soaked rags. My last thought before passing out was on my father's last words to me before he disappeared, "Be you what you will, but a coward never." I wonder what he would have done in my place?
I do not know how long I was incapacitated, but I awoke with a start to find myself bound tightly and robbed of my possessions. There were others in the same room in similar shape, however one of them appeared to have some sort of artificial appendage which cleverly concealed a blade. Using this he was able to free himself, the woman, another man who wore the most curious clothing, and myself. As he freed me, I noticed that the man was hideously scarred and deformed, the result of some sort of horrible accident no doubt that also claimed his arm. I made a mental note to recommend the services of a doctor I knew in the south of France doing great work in the reconstruction of such injuries. The man seemed also to speak the yellow woman's language, much to her and my surprise. What was more suprising was that when I tried to offer my assistance to her she responded to me in perfect English! I was crestfallen to say the least that my advances had been so easily rebuked, but did not have the luxury of time sufficient to wallow in my own dissapointment as we were quite simply trapped in the "Hall of Currency". For the first time in my life, the prospect of being surrounded by money for the rest of it was not at all appealing to me.
The others and I hatched a plan that was sure to succeed. Using the museum's prized Yappese stone money collection we barred one of the two doors shut. Then the woman, (I had learned she was a diplomat with the Chinese embassy), the disfigured man, and what turned out to be some sort of melodramatic sorcerer hid themselves near the door while I bravely attracted the guards attention. The door was opened and our trap sprung! The others made short work of the guards and confiscated their weapons for our own use. Thus armed, we made our way through the museum, attempting to find the way out and summon the authorites. As we entered one of the many hallways we spied four more ruffians on top of the balcony before us. The sorcerer (I believe his name was Opius) and the disfigured man (I did not catch his name) made a mad dash for the area under the balcony that was out of the ruffians' sight. Never one to pass up a chance to show my bravery and fortitude I signaled to the others my intent to repeat our previous ruse. Removing part of the decorative bannister I made my way to the top of the stairs and hurled the decoration at them with a mighty heave! It found its target and I taunted them mightily in my attempt to goad them into following me back down the stairs and into our ambush. My plan worked perfectly, and by sliding down the now cleared railing I was able to beat them in time. As they reached the bottom my companions opened fire, fataling wounding two of them immediatly. The rest of us did our best and managed to take down the other two without much trouble. Sufficiently rearmed with spare ammunition for the repeating handguns, we continued onward.
Back in the main exhibit hall where we started, we were surprised to find our belongings in a convenient pile, apparently unmolested. Not wanting to second guess our good fortune we simply re-armed ourselves as best we could. Just as I was feeling better about our prediciament my calm reflection was shattered by the most hideous noise I have ever heard. Some sort of mechanized noise followed by the ghastly screams of a damsel in peril! We made haste towards the awful cacophony eastward. What we saw is a sight I will not soon forget. A giant mechanized contraption sat in a pool of vile green ooze of unknown purpose. A cloaked madman stood on a platform jutting out into this pool, his maniacal laughter filling the room. Suspended over this pit was some sort of crane or other liftng device. Attached to this contraption was a buxsome young, and no doubt chaste, woman not wearing a single stich of clothing. Not only was this madman evil, but lecherous as well! It was then I decided to take action against this curr. However I was beaten to the draw by the disfigured man, who upon spying the contraption had readied his pistols and released a volley, destroying some fragile part of it. The china woman made a dash towards the crane arm no doubt to rescue the frightened girl. I felt it best not to interfere as it would be far from proper for me to gaze any more upon her naked form; I felt bad enough for what I had already seen! It was then that I noticed the madman's henchmen on the floor below us advancing on our position. I took aim at the closest opponent and fired my pistol. Somehow he had managed to dodge my shot and was unharmed! Undaunted I took aim again only to be suprised by the blast from the loudest rifle I have ever heard. It was an ordinary elephant gun, much like the one I had used during my recent Safari, but the reverberations it caused when the sound echoed in the room made it all the more powerful. Fortunately the madman's shot only grazed the metal arm of my compatriate and mearly spun him around a bit. While he recomposed himself I again took aim at the advancing men. However as I was about to fire some sort of hideous monster lept out of the mysterious ooze and took hold of the man I was about to shoot, pulling him screaming into the pool. Another shot rang out, this time from our side. It found its mark square in the head of the madman before us. At the same moment two of the hideous beasts sprang forth from the pool, glistening in the light of the infernal device now crippled and useless before us. As the beasts lumbered forward, I again took aim and squeezed the trigger. POW! I struck the beast in the neck (a lucky shot I will admit), mortally wounding it and sending it back into the pool from whence it came. The henchmen, who had previously been unaware of the other creature's presence were firing upon it at will. However there efforts were not successful as the creature proceeded to attack one of them.
At that point I turned to see the china woman and the disfugured man helping the now be-robed victim move back to the main hall. Throwing pleasantries aside, we made a mad dash for the door closing it just before the horrible beast slammed against it. But the door held fast! It was then that I realised that our erstwhile companion, the odd looking sorcerer was not with us! When I inquired as to his location the china woman stated that he volunteered to stay behind and make our escape possible by containing the magickal enegeries held captive by the madman's device. No sooner had she finished this sentence when we were knocked from our position by the most powerful explosion I believe I have ever had the misfortune to be near. I am not ashamed to admit that I was again forcably rendered unconscious. When I awoke we were buried under some small rubble but otherwise unharmed. As we staggered outside the exhibition hall, we were greeted by the sight of about a dozen Bobbies as well as the chaps from Scotland Yard. I was quite happy to see them at first, but that quickly faded as I was corralled into a paddy wagon with the disfigured fellow after some short questioning. The china woman made mention of her diplomatic status and was allowed to make her own way. I do not know the fate of the sorcerer, but I hear tell that such as he often have particular magicks that allow them to safely teleport themselves out of such great peril.
As I write this now, sitting here back at home with a splitting headache and not much else to show for my troubles, I pause and reflect on this mysterious Count Masterson who saved me from a most irritating interrogation at the hand of the Scotland Yard chaps. To think that they believe *we* are responsible for this entire affair! "Ha!" I say to that. But who is this Count Masterson and why have I not heard of him before? With all the talk one usually hears about the well-to-do I am suprised that there has been little mention of him before. Perhaps he is using a pseudonym or "nome de plume" as the French like to say? I am not sure, but I have since received an invitation to his manor one month hence and I dare say that I will not be going for high Tea and dancing!
Reminders to myself for completion later:
- 1er. I must learn all that I can about the Far East! Perhaps I can persuede the London Library to allow me access to Marco Polo's personal logs which I hear tell are on loan from the Venetian Archives.
- 2em. I must locate someone willing to tutor me in the ways of the Sorcererous arts. I think it is high time I begin exploring this aspect of the world. I know my father was always very proud of his sorcerous abilities. (OOC: Want to start increasing Sorcery from Poor to Average)
- 3em. Begin cataloging the latest items obtained during my last excursion. Contact Sir Charles at the Royal Academie to see if he is interested in my Authentic Zulu warrior face masks.