Session 5[]
"Shooting people in the head promotes school spirit."
- Teager: "To work on my accent, I just have to pretend to be John F. Kennedy."
- Steve: "...and we're back to the headshots."
"This is a crotch golem?"
"Let's get the little girl out of the cage."
Session 6[]
- Teager: "It's powerful enough to take a shit."
- Steve: "It's a very angry shit."
- Jeff: "Does a ghost shit at Ellis Island?"
- Alan: "So the dead guy's your great great grandfather. Address him as such."
- Danielle: "Hey, DUMBASS!"
Session 7[]
- Joe: "What, I'm not allowed having a sense of humor?"
- Alan: "No, you're not."
- "Senile in New Hampshire"--inexplicably not as popular as "Sleepless in Seattle"
Session 8[]
"Taming of the Wendighost"
"Why would you live in a Denny's when there is a Waffle House?"--the old wise man on the mountain (via Teager)
Teager: "Someone else talk. I've gotten really bad at it all of a sudden."
Danielle, matter-of-factly: "So, as you can see, your son is incorporeal."
Joe: "Your son was in a very safe place--usually."
- Steve: "So how do we break into a physics class?"
- Dean: "Momentum."
- Teager: "Because I make an excellent Kleenex."
- Mike: "That's what she said."
Rey: "Roll me 'Funf'."
Joe (potentially earning back the right to make jokes): "Nothing says 'Go to Hell' like a good exorcism."
Session 10[]
While other party members might have noticed the woman's resemblance to the suspicous woman in the Hunter's journal entry, Allen: "Oh, a time traveller, she'll be fine."
"Ghost time traveller rifle woman."
Session 11[]
Joe: "I am going to parlay with the zombies... I always wanted to say that."
Session 12[]
Cody: "I'm from Texas." Pastor Wendy Collins: "God forgives all sins."
"Peeing on the carpet will not bring my dead fiancee back to life." --Cody
Teager/possessed Alan: "Do what he say!" (bizarrely appropriate Blazing Saddles reference)
Session 13[]
"ELECTRO-KRAKEN" - Everyone
"So our plan is to sexually harass the kraken." - Dean
"They're just pointy so that the camera stays on." - Dean on harpoons
"I refuse to believe this is happening!" - Steve on firing a cannon at a kraken
"Swim down! Swim down!" - Rey
Session 14[]
Mike: "Heheh. The old sword and whetstone. Or would that be whetstones?"
Rey: "My library is called the Whetstone, so let's stop talking about this so that I don't think about sex every time I go to work."
Steve: "How is that sexual?"
-everyone spends a minute explaining it to Steve-
"I still don't...oh, now I get it. Now I'm thinking about frotterage. Okay, so I approach the youth group..."
Steve: "Revelations is exciting in the 'it's gonna be in 3-D' kinda way."
Steve: "How big's the rack?"
Steve: "Even if we wanted to help the damn things, we're as in the dark as-" *looks up at the blackened sky*
Steve: "I misspelled 'demon', okay!"
Session 17[]
Matt (of all people): "Danielle, how can you be so heartless?"
- Cody: "So we're in town; we're not getting hand jobs."
- Joe: "We agree on two things."
Session 18[]
Rey: "Why do you guys want to probe all the orifices of the apocalypse?"
[Discussing how Alex can survive the most of anyone] Jess: "Yes, but he also has *allergies*!"
Matt: "We are pretty adorable." [Joe punches him.] "See, what I mean? Cute as a button."
- Joe: "I'm a big fan of the not-deaf."
- Alex: "What?"
Session 19[]
Matt: "If I'm in bondage gear, I'm coming after somebody."
- Cody: "You can handle the punk girl."
- Danielle: "I'll use the machete!"